Category: Comedy

Constitutional Experts Reassure Voters That Corporations Will Continue To Run America If Either Candidate Dies

With concerns about the health and age of both Presidential candidates, constitutional experts have reassured voters that the nation’s largest corporations will continue to run the country, even in the event of an unexpected health scare.…

Sydney To Open Lockdown-Themed Amusement Park For New Zealanders Who Want The Full Melbourne Experience

Saying they were concerned about the high number of Kiwis entering Sydney but then immediately departing for Melbourne, Tourism NSW announced today that it will build a Melbourne-style lockdown amusement park, in an attempt to keep valuable tourism dollars in…
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Man Lines Up For 11 Hours For Chance To Vote In Greatest Democracy On Earth

A man has taken a day off work to stand in a voting line for eleven hours so he can take part in what is undisputedly the world’s greatest democracy.…
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Apart From Quarantine, Border Control, Aged Care, Welfare And Social Services, COVID-19 Isn’t A Federal Government Issue, Morrison Says

Prime Minister Scott Morrison says the federal government cannot be held accountable for any failures relating to the nation’s COVID-19 response, reminding voters that apart from a constitutional requirement to control borders, air travel, quarantine policy, aged care facilities, social…
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Facebook Introduces New Option to Let Someone Know You’re Not Thinking Of Them On Their Birthday

Facebook has launched a new feature that will allow users to let their friends know when they honestly couldn’t give two shits about their special day.  …
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Trump: “I Understand What It’s Like To Be An Ordinary American With Access To Free Healthcare”

US President Donald Trump says he has learnt a lot from his experience contracting COVID-19, and can empathise with the millions of Americans who have battled the disease with nothing more than a team of specialist doctors, a private hospital…
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Everyone In Contact With Berejiklian Over Past 5 Years To Distance Themselves Immediately

In keeping with NSW’s ‘gold standard’ contact tracing system, anyone who has had contact with Gladys Berejiklian over the past 5 years will now distance themselves immediately.…
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Atmosphere At Trump Rally Described As ‘Infectious’

Excited Trump fans who flocked to the President’s first rally since being diagnosed with COVID-19 described the feeling in the stadium as ‘totally contagious’.…
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Are the Libs Good Economic Managers | with Richard Denniss

Ep. 16: In which I chat with economist Richard Denniss about the Government’s shitfuckery as we head into a deep recession, the federal budget, MMT, taxes and whether the Libs really are good economic managers. (Note: In Australia, the Libs…
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Understanding Government Spending In Australia

There’s been a bit of confusion lately about the difference between a government surplus and a government deficit, and how that relates to good economic management in Australia. This simple economics lesson from The Shovel explains how it works. Good…
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Morrison Defends Lack Of Money In Budget For Women: “It Simply Isn’t Possible To Cater For Every Single Minority Group”

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has responded to claims that women were the losers in Tuesday night’s budget, saying it is an unfortunate reality that not all special interest groups can be catered for.…
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Frydenberg Starts Budget Speech With Reminder That All Figures Are Correct To Closest $60 Billion

Treasurer Josh Frydenberg last night delivered his second budget as Treasurer, beginning his speech by noting that the figures had been checked and were correct, give or take $60 billion.…
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“Frydenberg In A Panic After Being Knocked Back For $213 Billion Payday Loan

Federal Treasurer Josh Frydenberg was in a last-ditch scramble to scrape together $210 billion to pay for the Government’s massive Budget deficit last night, after being refused a loan from a popular payday lender. …
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Trump Rushes Back To White House To Immediately Get On With Ignoring Covid

Saying there was no time to waste, US President Donald Trump has left Walter Reed Medical Center so he can immediately return to doing nothing about the pandemic sweeping the nation.…
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Government To Stimulate Economy With Extra $200 Million For ‘Whatever Racket Angus Taylor’s Into Right Now’

Saying it was important to target the most vulnerable sectors of the economy, Treasurer Josh Frydenberg today unveiled a $200 million stimulus package to give a leg up to whatever the fuck Angus Taylor’s family has got its mitts into…
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Regular ‘DIY Dad’ Scott Morrison Builds Coal-Fired Power Station In Backyard

Ordinary Aussie Dad and part time Prime Minister Scott Morrison spent the weekend doing a bit of DIY, putting the finishing touches to a home-made coal-fired gas station for the backyard at The Lodge.…
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EXCLUSIVE: Coronavirus Was Offered $130,000 To Sign Non-Disclosure Agreement, After Being Inside Trump

The Coronavirus was offered $130,000 in hush money to keep quiet about its affair with the President, it has been revealed.…
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Trump Hospitalised After Testing Positive For Racism, Sexism, Bullying And Pathological Lying

Donald Trump has been taken to hospital following a series of tests that confirmed he is an arsehole.…
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Trump Refuses To Accept Result Of Covid Test

US President Donald Trump says he does not accept the validity of the COVID-19 test, saying it was a clear case of mail-in voter fraud.…
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Comedian Nails What It’s Like When Family Doesn’t Quite Get Social Distancing

Sometimes fathers — and mothers — don’t know best. Juliet Prather, 27, a Brooklyn-based comedian who is originally from Austin, Texas, posted a video Tuesday to Twitter that may hit a little too close to home for many who feel…
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