English Man Cancels Holiday To Croatia For Defected Festival

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An angry Englishman has reportedly canceled an upcoming holiday to Croatia after watching England get eliminated from the World Cup during last night’s semi-final against the Croatians. Steve Bootham, claims he feels he can no longer trust Croatian people after watching their football team completely outplay England in last night’s game. “There’s no way I…

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An angry Englishman has reportedly canceled an upcoming holiday to Croatia after watching England get eliminated from the World Cup during last night’s semi-final against the Croatians.

Steve Bootham, claims he feels he can no longer trust Croatian people after watching their football team completely outplay England in last night’s game.

“There’s no way I can go over there after watching that last night,” he told Wunderground earlier this morning. “I was due to go over for a festival in August but I’ve just canceled everything and sold my tickets, I’m not going over there to be bullied like those big mean Croatians bullied our boys last night. No way, Jose.”

“They’re just kids,” he continued with a quivering lip. “Our young Lions. Our heroes. They tried their best, they’re such troopers, but those nasty Croatians were so rough with them. There’s no way I can go over and support their economy with my hard earned English money after witnessing that travesty last night.”

“It was supposed to come home,” he squealed before totally succumbing to his emotion and going into fits of hysterical crying. “It was coming home and they took it away from us. Now, it’s never going to come home. It’s going to be homeless, forever, it’s lost, just like all of our souls.”

Paul McDonald, the Irishman who bought Mr Bootham’s Defected Festival ticket, is said to be “extremely excited” to visit Croatia.

“I’ve always known I loved the Croatians,” he beamed earlier. “Last night’s result against the English totally confirmed it, they were a joy to watch and seeing all of those sad English fan’s faces at the end of it really makes up for Ireland being shite at football. They’ll have the whole of Ireland cheering for them on Sunday, we still haven’t forgiven the French for Henry’s handball in 2009.”

“I can’t wait to get over there,” he continued. “I got my ticket for Defected off some English lad who was in the middle of a complete mental breakdown. He only charged me twenty quid for it. Fucking result!”

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