File this one under, no, but thanks for not asking. 

Patrick Cunningham, a Japan-based American producer whose credits include “Martha Marcy May Marlene” and “Starlet,” is behind the venture.

“Most U.S. and Western audiences won’t get to see it. It has only a limited release outside Japan and is not being released in the U.S.,” said Cunningham. “That’s such a shame for a film this fun and original.”

Cunningham plans an English-language remake that will shoot in the U.S. on a budget that he describes as “fairly small.” The original film emerged from the Enbu Seminar acting school.

“The goal is for as many people as possible to see it,” Cunningham added, explaining that that could mean an indie-style theatrical trajectory or a straight-to-streaming strategy. “We will know more about the direction it will take once we have attached a writer and director.”

According to the report Cunningham was able to acqire the remake rights when he helped resolve a conflict that arose when director Ueda Shinichiro was accused of plagerising his idea from a stage play by his friend, theater director Wada Ryoichi.

One of the concessions devotees to a particular property make when they find out that something they love is going to get the remake treatment is that they believe the remake will bring new fans to the original. I do not know anyone who does not love, love, love One Cut of the Dead, and wanted a copy for themselves. Many Screen Anarchists who felt the same now have our own copies of Third Window’s Blu-ray (Region B, 2) now to have and hold forever and ever. You need an all-region player for that copy, but for Third Window we have sold blood and plasma to be able to buy from them.

Still, the reality that there is still no North American distributor for the original is a sock in the teeth. If you were fortunate to catch the original One Cut of the Dead on the festival circuit this past year you would know why this sucks. You would mourn with us that this gem of a film, this smile inducing heart-warming zom-com, cannot be sought out by those whose curiosity will be aroused if and when this English language remake will be made. 

That is the real tragedy of this bit of news.