An English DJ has made the decision to leave his Mixcloud Pro account to his son in his will after realising that he’d have “fuck all else” to give him if he were to pass away unexpectedly.

Andrew Spencer, a.k.a. 50 Spence, recently decided to get his “affairs in order” after thinking he had died while in the depths of an “epic k hole”.

“I’ve turned myself inside out, back to front, upside down and teleported to a different dimension through my own arsehole on ket in the past, but none of those experiences even come close to the fake death I had a couple of weeks ago,” he explained earlier today. “Honestly, it was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced and it really made me think about what I’m doing with my life.”

“I’ve been DJing for almost twenty-five years now,” he told us. “It’s my full-time job and I love it but up until now I’ve sort of just lived in the moment you know, drinking and sniffing whatever I can get my hands on at my gigs, that fake death scared the shit out of me and opened my eyes to what’s really important in my life.”

“That’s why I decided to get my affairs in order,” continued the DJ. “What if that fake death had been real? I’d be gone and my wife would be left looking after our son, George, or Hot Since 2012 as I like to call him, on her own. I need to start planning for the future and, after experiencing a fake death, I thought making a will was the best place to start.”

“That’s when I realised I actually own fuck all in this world, I’ve earned a good bit of money but apart from the rent, bills and food, most of what I’ve made has gone down my throat or up my nose,” admitted Spencer. “I have got a lifetime Mixcloud Pro account though, I’ll be leaving that to little George.”

“It’s not much but it’s a start, I give myself another four, five, six or even ten years of partying before I’ll really need to start putting a few quid away for him. I’ve just ordered a nice hydroponics kit for growing my own green which will save a fortune in the long run, so that’ll make a few quid for him and I’ll update the will in a few years and put the kit on it too.”

While it is not yet clear if the Mixcloud Pro account will be transferable to Mr Spencer’s son, Mixcloud representatives have confirmed that it’s the thought that counts.