In the latest news from the murky world of illicit drug use, it would appear that Class A drugs in the UK are way better than Class C drugs.
According to word on the street, everyone knows you get a ”much better buzz” from Class As, while Class Cs are what you use when you’ve run out of good drugs.
“Although the UK’s drug classification system wasn’t developed to rank how good the drugs are, it seems to have done just that,” claimed drugs aficionado Pete Doherty. “You know that if you get some Class As they’re going to be good but if you’re getting Class Cs there’s a chance they’re going to be shit, apart from ket, which I think is in there by accident.”
“Class Bs are a real mystery to me, I just don’t get them at all,” continued Doherty. “You’re either getting on it or you’re desperate. Going straight down the middle just doesn’t do it for me when it comes to drugs, that’s what happens when you get a prescription, not go and visit a fucking drug dealer.”
“And why the fuck is weed classified as a Class B drug? It’s definitely good enough to be a Class A but it’s not a fucking drug at all mate, it’s a fucking way of life,” he continued. “I know people who have devoted their entire existence to puffing herb. Try telling them it’s a drug mate, they’ll have your guts for garters.”
However, one local “benzo head” claimed that rumours of Class As being better than Class Cs were rubbish and that only “amateurs” believe it.
“That’s total bollox that is,” suggested the benzo head. “If you’re not enjoying your Class Cs then you’re just not doing them right, innit. I’m not some fancy city boy going out wasting my money on heroin or crack, I get my benzos, head down the canal and have great fucking time. Class C for life!”